I have dedicated my life to my family. Amidst carpools, ballet lessons and football games, my four children grew to become men and women. One day, one of them, Paolo, said “Mama, I am gay.” That was a devastating day. I asked myself, “Why was this happening to me, what were people going to say about me?”
I hid my “terrible secret” until I saw with Paolo the play “Gross Indecency, The Three Trials of Oscar Wilde.” At the end of the play, Paolo said to me, “100 years later and nothing has changed.” He was referring to the fact that the writer, Oscar Wilde, had been tried for being a homosexual.
Afterword we had a conversation where he told me what he had gone through as a gay child. His tale was of loneliness and desperation, like so many other kids that struggle with the topic of orientation or gender alone.
I was devastated and confused. Where had I been when all of this was going on? A friend then took me to the YES Institute, an organization in Florida whose mission is to prevent suicide and ensure the healthy development of all youth through powerful communication and education on gender and orientation.
That day my life changed. It became clear to me that, because of my fear of a topic I knew nothing about, I had failed my son and left him alone to fend for himself when faced with abuse, harassment and discrimination.
I decided to become a part of YES and realized that I could use my story and my voice to support other families going through same situation. I am now CFO, Director of Development and Director of Programs in Spanish, reaching out to Spanish-speaking families about the need to protect youths from harassment and violence.
About my encore, two phrases come to mind, “Where there is a will, there is a way” and “Se hace camino al andar”… you make the path as you walk.
(Eva Leivas-Andino was honored as an Encore.org Purpose Prize Fellow in 2011.)