Your life can change in a flash. It happens. It can be harsh beyond words. A child is murdered. Cancer kills. Terrorists attack. There is no way to prepare.
But in the end, we carry on. The human spirit is formidable. We’re hard-wired to survive traumatic events, however, no two people navigate the new terrain the same way, or in the same time frame. It's uncharted.
“People may become more compassionate toward the plight of others—they develop a vastly expanded sense of empathy that extends far beyond the usual tight network of concern for family, friends, and one’s immediate community,” writes author Mark Miller in his excellent new book, “Jolt: Stories of Trauma and Transformation” (Post Hill, 2018).
“Often, they pursue missions to help others or to make things right in the world. Some move into new careers and remake their worldview and personalities. Some find that their relationships grow deeper, and they may seek a stronger spiritual dimension in their lives."
After reading his book, I interviewed Miller, a journalist and expert specializing in retirement and aging. (He is a columnist for Reuters and blogs at RetirementRevised.com). Here are some excerpts from our interview.
Kerry Hannon: Why did you write this book? Did you have a jolt in your own life?
Mark Miller: Like most people, I’ve experienced jolts, because trauma is part of the human condition. Although I need to quickly add that none of my own jolt experiences have been as traumatic as some of the stories I tell in the book. In “Jolt”, I explore some of the most horrible traumas imaginable - the death of a child, terror attacks, gun violence and natural disasters.
But my interest in writing the book really started after noticing the jolt phenomenon so frequently among Encore fellows and Purpose Prize winners. Whenever I interviewed these folks for stories, I would always ask what motivated people to change the direction of their lives, and after a while, I could just sense when I was about to hear a very painful, traumatic story. I felt that was something I needed to understand better.
Hannon: How can a jolt reshape someone’s outlook on work in a positive way? How can someone “grow” from the experience and find purpose, and how long does that take to play out?
Miller: Traumatic life experiences often destroy our view of the world, and many people feel driven to restore that - to find a new sense of purpose. Trauma can force people to answer piercing questions about their priorities and values, and these internal struggles can inspire profound and lasting personal growth. Clinical psychologists have been researching the phenomenon since the mid-1990s- they call it post-traumatic growth (PTG). The topic sometimes gets mixed together with resilience - but the researchers who specialize in this are careful to distinguish between the two. Resilience is a term describing the ability to recover and continue as you were - PTG is a process that leaves you completely transformed.
Very often, these transformations lead to radical changes in careers. Lucy McBath is a good example. Following the murder of her son, Jordan Davis in 2012, she left behind her career as a flight attendant to become a nationally-known advocate for gun control. More recently, she became a candidate for Congress in Georgia.
Hannon: Many of the people you profile shifted to work in a nonprofit or to start one. What was the impetus driving that desire for these individuals?
Miller: I think jolt survivors actually are a very important source of energy, talent and time for nonprofits - leaders in the sector really should take the time understand them! One example is the story Liz and Steve Alderman, who were inspired to start the Peter C. Alderman Foundation after their son Peter was killed in World Trade Center on 9/11. It’s service organization that trains health professionals to deal with the aftermath of severe psychological trauma in post-conflict societies all over the world, and it has been recognized as one of the most successful young philanthropic startups in the country.
Lucy McBath is another example - she joined Everytown for Gun Safety to work on gun control. I also tell the story of an amazing woman named Eva Leivas-Andino, who became a leader at the Yes Institute, a non-profit in South Florida that works with, a teens and families on sexual orientation, gender identity issues, and suicide prevention. Her transformation followed a traumatic realization that she had failed to support her own son when he was young and struggling with his own sexual identity.
Hannon: What are the takeaway lessons from these stories for others who may be struggling with a jolt in their own life?
Miller: One of the most striking things I learned writing the book is that people who have experienced jolts regard their trauma as a very profound, valuable gift. The essential “gift” is that trauma shakes everything up—our expectations for the future, our values, and how we want to spend our time. That opens the door to change that they value so highly they would not trade back the traumatic life event even if they were given the opportunity.
Trauma is a part of life for all of us. Fortunately, most of us will not suffer a dramatic traumatic event like those I describe in “Jolt.” But we all suffer emotional crises, illnesses, the death of family members and friends. Many of us have gone through career crises during the economic upheaval of the past decade. And then there are life’s near-misses.
Sometimes we try to get past the trauma without taking the opportunity to really reflect on its meaning. The last chapter of the book explores what we can all learn from these stories of post-traumatic growth and change. Is it possible to listen to your inner voice in a deeper way and make that voice so loud that the idea of continuing without making changes becomes intolerable?
I think it is possible, but not without some hard work. These inspiring stories tell us that it’s worth the effort.
Kerry Hannon is the author of a dozen books including Money Confidence: Really Smart Financial Moves for Newly Single Women and Great Jobs for Everyone 50+:Finding Work That Keeps You Happy and Healthy…and Pays the Bills,
